Week 15: Outside of Class (Critique Feedback)

In class on Wednesday, I recieved critique for my comic. Here is what I got:

Pros:

• Story is consecutive and flows well
• Grayscale works well for the horror aspect of comic
• Good sense of depth in panels
• Well illustrated backgrounds
• Good character consistency
• Good stopping point, creates tension

Cons:

• There are lots of head on camera angles (maybe play with some more)
• Pink color stands out amongst gray, maybe use throughout the background more
• Use glyphs more across comic
• Jagged edges should go around the whole edge of the speech bubble
• Some characters look too flat

Week 15b

Prompt: After recieving a life-changing prophecy, a pregnant astronaut uncovers a hidden family secret. 

Here is my completed comic. I think it turned out alright. There were definitely a lot of constraints to work with in this project, so for what it's worth, I think I did well despite them. As always, I am interested to see how my classmates did with theirs, and what they think about mine.

Week 15a

Today in class I completed two more panels. These are nearing the surprise ending, so I really wanted to build up to that. The last two panels are where the surprise is revealed. Hopefully by tonight I will complete my comic. These are the two I did in class:

Week 14: Outside of Class

This weekend I did a lot for my comic. I finished the first two pages completely. It took a lot of time. Many of the scenes took place at night, so it was interesting playing with lighting. I also kept in mind the idea of gestural poses throughout the entire time. I think I did an okay job of incorporating some good posing in my comic. I also kept the monochromatic gray color scheme, as it seemed to work the best for what I was doing. Here are the first two completed pages:

All I have left to do is the final page, which only has 4 panels. I definitely feel the time crunch, but I think it will work out alright. I will dedicate all of Monday to finishing my comic. 

Week 14b

Today in class I completed 2 more panels. They were hard for me to draw because they had cars in them, which is something I do not have a lot of experience with drawing. This is what they looked like:

I think they turned out alright. I may have to go back and do some refinement later, however. Over the weekend, I will probably get the most work done.

Week 14a

Today in class, I completed two panels. It wasn't as much as I wanted, but thats because I restarted twice. I think I finally got the style I wanted. Here are the panels I completed:

I chose to use a pencil type of brush to make these. I also decided to go with a monochromatic gray with some hints of color. I may edit the colors later through color balance, but so far I like the monochromatic gray.

Week 13: Outside of Class

Over break, I was extremely busy, so I didn't have time to do much unfortunately. However, I did go through and finalize how I wanted my scenes to be laid out and which ones I needed or didn't necessarily need. Here were some notes and layouts I did:

Week 13a

Today in class we took a quiz and then were kept outside for a bit due to a fire. However, I was still able to begin my comic, although not by much. I decided to try out a new style as I was contemplating over the weekend. This is what it looks like:

I think I could go even deeper gesturally with this style. However, I think I will have to try to practice it more and get more confident. Hopefully I can accomplish some more over break. 

Week 12 Outside of Class

This weekend we had to do a bunch of different layout sketches. I tried my best to do different angles and poses for each page and each panel. It is something I still need to work on. I am contemplating switching up my style for this project, as I think using a looser style may allow me to be more dynamic with how I draw people. For now, I am still sticking with the style that I normally use, however, it is something I am going to keep in mind. Here are my sketches:

The more I sketch, the more I am able to make my story more concise in a way that makes sense. In many of my layouts it felt like I was dragging a scene on pointlessly. However, I think there are bits and pieces of almost all my sketches that I will carry over to the final comic.

Week 12b

Today in class we did an exercise where we practiced moment to moment storytelling. We had to draw our heads melting or transitioning in some way to reveal another object. I wasn't feeling very creative in terms of what object to put inside, so I just chose my skull and also had some cobwebs develop in the corners, to show a long passage of time. Here is what mine looked like:

This exercise was pretty tough. I found that some of my panels just seemed to be repeats of themselves. However, it did make me think more about moment to moment storytelling.

Week 12a

I missed class today because I was not feeling well. However, I learned from a classmate that we began work on the comic layout. I will begin working on that tonight.

Week 11 Outside of Class

This weekend we had to draw our characters in 5 different full body poses. We also needed 3-6 backgrounds. Here is what I drew:

First I drew my two main adult characters so I could get a good idea of what their faces would look like. The husband has 2 forms, human and alien. Since I am doing more of a horror comic, I wanted him to look pretty scary as an alien, but still have some humanistic features.

Then, I drew just Vala. I have never drawn a pregnant character before so it was interesting figuring that out.

I drew the husband, who I came up with a name for - Eli. I wanted him to be menacing and scary in his alien form, but lovable and nice in his human form so I tried to convey that through my different poses.

Finally, I drew my last character, who is the baby. The baby also has an alien form, so again, I wanted it to be creepy.

The three scenes I drew were from the laboratory, the bedroom, and the bathroom. These are probably the more common scenes that will be in the comic, so that is why I chose them. I think I could make them a little more futuristic looking. However, color will probably also help a lot with this.

Finally, this weekend I rewrote my script to accommodate the new story. Here is the new script:

PAGE 1

Panel 1:

Vala is seen standing in a laboratory over some beakers and test tubes. She is wearing a sterile looking uniform, which is primarily composed of one zip-up jumpsuit, boots, and a white coat. The lighting is fluorescent and everything is clean, bright, and white. A digital clock hangs behind her on the wall.

Panel 2:

The shot has zoomed in closer to the clock, which displays the time – 11:47 P.M.

Vala: Oh, no! It’s terribly late. Time has escaped me again.

Panel 3:

Vala is seen in the light of the doorway as she exits the now dark laboratory.  Her shadow is cast on the ground from the lighting of the hallway outside the lab. In this scene, it is evident she is very pregnant.

Vala: Another day completed.

Panel 4:

Vala is seen opening the door to her home. It is clean with a slightly futuristic aesthetic. The only light comes from the sconce which is to the right of the door. Moths fly around the lamp.

Vala: Now to sneak in quietly to bed.

Panel 5:

This panel shows Vala in bed wearing part her lab uniform, fast asleep. Next to her is her husband, also sleeping. Next to their bed is an alarm clock with the time which reads 12:41 A.M.

Panel 6:

This panel is a wider angle shot from a different perspective. The POV is like that of where a security camera would be placed. It shows the various screens in the room light up with a blueish glow. Across the screens scroll letters and phrases from a foreign, alien language. The clock from the previous panel reads 3:33 A.M.

Panel 7:

 Vala is sitting up in bed next to her sleeping husband looking at all the screens. She looks confused.

Mysterious voice: In less than a year’s time, your life will change forever…

Panel 8:

                The room is dark and Vala is shown back asleep. The clock reads 3:35 A.M.

Panel 9:

This shot shows a closeup of Vala lying in bed with her husband behind her. The alarm is going off and she hits it. The time reads 6:30 A.M. The room is bright, and the sun is being cast across her face. You can see on her wrist lies a silver bracelet with a mysterious insignia, one she has worn for years.

Vala (mumbling): What happened last night? Was I dreaming…?

PAGE 2:

Panel 10:

Vala’s silhouette is seen behind the shower curtain as she takes a shower. The room is steamy. On the mirror are more strange symbols like those seen in the dream.

Panel 11:

                Vala stands in front of the mirror with a towel looking at the symbols with curiosity and fear.

                Vala: Eli! Come here please!

                Eli (from another room): What is it? Is everything okay!?

Panel 12:

                Eli is seen in the door frame, also looking at the mirror.

                Vala: Are you playing tricks on me?

                Eli: No honey, of course not! That sure is creepy, but I’m sure it’s just from the steam.

                Vala: Whatever you say…

Panel 13:

                Vala, now freshly made up, is in the kitchen where her husband is cooking breakfast. The point of view is from across the room.

                Vala: By the way, did you notice anything strange last night?

Panel 14:

                Vala’s husband turns to her holding a frying pan. The camera sits behind Vala, as though the viewer were standing behind her.

                Eli: No, why?

                Vala: I woke up and saw all these strange symbols on the screens in our room, and then I heard some weird voice tell me that my life was going to change in less than a year.

Panel 15:

                Eli turns his back to Vala, resuming cooking.

                Eli: I’m sure it was just a dream, honey. You know how pregnancy can affect things like that.

                Vala: You’re probably right. I’m sure it was nothing.

Panel 16:

                Vala sits at her computer doing work, it is late at night. The time is 12:32 A.M. The POV is at a distance from behind. The light from the computer casts a long shadow.

                Narration: 2 months later…

                Vala: Another late night, time for bed.

Panel 17:

                Vala is seen in her pajamas, asleep next to Eli. The time says 1:03 A.M.

Panel 18:

This panel is a wider angle shot from a different perspective. The POV is like that of where a security camera would be placed. It shows the various screens in the room light up with a blueish glow. Across the screens scroll letters and phrases from a foreign, alien language. The clock from the previous panel reads 3:33 A.M.

Panel 19:

 Vala is sitting up in bed next to her sleeping husband looking at all the screens. She looks terrified. She places a hand on her husband, but he doesn’t wake up.

Mysterious voice: Everything you know is a lie. Soon enough you’ll see…

PAGE 3:

Panel 20:

                Time has progressed. Vala smiles as her husband plays with the baby.

                Narration: 7 months later…

                Vala: You’re such a great father. I always knew you would be. You make it too easy for me.

Panel 21:

                Vala is woken up at the sound of crying from another room. Eli is not next to her. The POV is from above as she looks over at the cracked door, light streaming in.

                Narration: Later that night…

                Vala (mumbling): He is so good, always caring for the baby.

Panel 22:

                It is nighttime again and both parents are in bed. The POV is from a corner of the room. The baby is crying from another room. Eli is sound asleep.

                Vala: I guess it is my turn to check on the baby.

Panel 23:

                Vala peeks in the door of the nursery, it is dark and only the silhouette of the baby sitting up in the crib can be seen. The baby continues to scream.

                Vala: It’s okay, mommy’s coming to get you.

Panel 24:

                The POV changes so that the baby can be clearly seen. It looks different, with horrifying alien features. It continues to scream.

Panel 25:

                The camera angle pans back to Vala, who looks incredibly shocked, a hand cover her mouth.

                Vala: Wha-!

Panel 26:

                The camera angle shifts so that the door can be seen behind her, a shadow is in the hallway.

Panel 27:

                At the same angle as before, the scene now shows Eli’s silhouette in the door.

Panel 28:

                Eli, now in alien form, runs at Vala, his hands reaching out to grab her.

                Vala: Please, no-!

I like this script a lot better and I think the story makes more sense. I decided to leave it on a cliff hanger because it is a horror comic and I think it allows for the reader to decide how they think it ends. I am feeling much better about the direction of my comic now. 

Week 11b

For class today we had to have 3 pages of the script completed. Here is what I had:

PAGE 1

Panel 1:

Vala is seen standing in a laboratory over some beakers and test tubes. She is wearing a sterile looking uniform, which is primarily composed of one zip-up jumpsuit, boots, and a white coat. The lighting is fluorescent and everything is clean, bright, and white. A digital clock hangs behind her on the wall. A radio is seen behind her.

Narration: The year is 2142.

Radio: … and in other news…

Panel 2:

The shot has zoomed in closer to the clock, which displays the time – 11:47 P.M.

Narration: Wishing to settle down, Vala, an ex-astronaut, has taken a position as a lead extraterrestrial researcher.

Vala: Oh, no! It’s terribly late. Time has escaped me again.

Radio: … the expedition to Lumaria leaves tomorrow morning…

Panel 3:

Vala is seen in the light of the doorway as she exits the now dark laboratory.  Her shadow is cast on the ground from the lighting of the hallway outside the lab. In this scene, it is evident she is pregnant.

Vala: Another day completed.

Panel 4:

Vala is seen opening the door to her home. It is clean with a slightly futuristic aesthetic. The only light comes from the sconce which is to the right of the door. Moths fly around the lamp.

Vala: Now to sneak in quiety to bed.

Panel 5:

This panel shows Vala in bed wearing part her lab uniform, fast asleep. Next to her is her husband, also sleeping. Next to their bed is an alarm clock with the time which reads 12:41 A.M.

Panel 6:

This panel is a wider angle shot from a different perspective. The POV is similar to that of where a security camera would be placed. It shows the various screens in the room light up with a blueish glow. Across the screens scroll letters and phrases from a foreign, alien language. The clock from the previous panel reads 3:33 A.M. Vala is sitting up in bed next to her sleeping husband looking at all the screens. She looks confused.

Mysterious voice: You must go on the expedition to Lumaria or humanity as you know it will be destroyed.

Panel 8:

This shot shows a closeup of Vala lying in bed with her husband behind her. The alarm is going off and she hits it. The time reads 6:30 A.M. The room is bright and the sun is being cast across her face. You can see on her wrist lies a silver bracelet with a mysterious insignia, one she has worn for years.

Vala (mumbling): …nothing but a dream.

PAGE 2:

Panel 9:

Vala begins unzipping her lab uniform from last night in the bathroom mirror. The bathroom also has a semi-futuristic appearance.

Panel 10:

Vala unzips to reveal a strange marking on her chest. It looks as though she has been branded. The marking is a symbol like the one she saw last night on the screens in her room.

Vala: What is that!? It looks like the ones I saw in my dream…

Husband (from other room): Is everything alright, honey?

Panel 11:

Vala’s uniform is zipped again, one hand rests on her pregnant belly. Her husband is now peeking inside the door of the bathroom.

Vala: I just received an emergency call that I have to go on the mission to Lumaria. I must go. Do you think the baby will be okay?

Husband: Of course the baby will be okay, pregnant women have been astronauts for years now. Besides, you know I’ve been urging you to get back into being an astronaut.

Panel 12:

Vala holds a duffel bag as she stands in the open front door, ready to leave. She and her husband are in an embrace.

Husband: This is going to be so good for you.

Vala: I hope so. I love you.

Husband: Love you too, be safe.

Panel 13:

Cut to front of space center, Vala stands in front with her bag.

Vala (speaking to herself): I can’t believe I am doing this again, while pregnant no less. Is this really a good idea?

Panel 14:

Vala sits in a space shuttle, which is flying through space. She is staring out the window.

Panel 15:

Vala is on a search party with 4 others, they are in a desert-like biome. Beyond them, the sky is black and there are pin-pricks of light.

Narration: 5 days later.

PAGE 3:

Panel 16:

Vala stands at a cave entrance alone. The inside is dark, with a faint glow as it gets deeper.

Vala: This cave feels like it is calling out to me. The energy is so strong.

Panel 17:

Vala is deep inside the cave where she sees a wall of writing in the same foreign, alien language that was in her room. She places her hand on it.

Panel 18:

The wall opens and Vala is grabbed and put into a strange vehicle.

Vala: Help--!

Panel 19:

Inside a cabin of a vehicle, 2 creatures with gas masks sit across from Vala. The interior is smoky and Vala is slumped over and asleep.

Strange creature 1: The Leader will be very pleased…

Panel 20:

Inside a grand, futuristic looking room, stands Vala and her two captors. Across from them sits a strange creature in a throne.

Vala: Who are you!? Why am I here!?

The Leader: They call me the Leader. You are here because your fetus is of kin.

Panel 21:

The camera angle is closer than before. Vala stands looking shocked and holding her stomach. The Leader sits across from her, laughing.

Vala: But, that’s impossible!

The Leader: Oh, but it simply is! Your husband is a Lumarian.

We had a row critique of the script. My row thought it was okay, but one person suggested that I could change my story completely to have it make more sense and still hit all three aspects of my prompt. She suggested I change it so that Vala discovers her baby is an alien after it is born, and that the husband also reveals himself. I thought this actually made a lot more sense, and allowed for me to get rid of many of the plot holes that I originally had. This weekend I plan on changing my whole idea and rewriting the script.

In addition to a row critique, we also did this activity where we rotated around the room and had people draw our characters blind and based on description. Here were some of the drawings I got for Vala and her alien husband:

This activity was pretty interesting. I liked seeing how others envisioned my characters.

Week 11a

Today in class we critiqued each other's narratives. My classmates seemed to like where mine was headed, but also offered some helpful criticisms. Most of the issues came from the fact that my explanation for why my character went to space didn't make the most sense. One of my classmates suggested that the husband should urge Vala to go back to space, to make him more suspicious. I thought this was a good solution. Another classmate said that it wasn't believable that she could just go on this mission if she wasn't in a higher position. He also said that her decision to go on this trip should seem more important, since it is risking the baby's well-being and birthplace. Most of the people who critiqued my narrative said that I should push the foreshadowing a lot more. Finally, there were some issues with my resolution in that it was too much of a happy ending without much explanation or reasoning. Professor Pannafino also said I needed more conflict. I agree with all of the criticisms I received today and I am going to work on them. For next class we need to write three pages of the script. Here is what I got started in class today:

PAGE 1

Panel 1:
Vala is seen standing in a laboratory over some beakers and test tubes. She is wearing a sterile
looking uniform, which is primarily composed of one zip-up jumpsuit, boots, and a white coat. The
lighting is fluorescent and everything is clean, bright, and white. A digital clock hangs behind her on the wall. A radio is seen behind her.

Narration: The year is 2142.
Radio: … and in other news…

Panel 2:
The shot has zoomed in closer to the clock, which displays the time – 11:47 P.M.

Narration: Wishing to settle down, Vala, an ex-astronaut, has taken a position as a lead
extraterrestrial researcher.
Vala: Oh, no! It’s terribly late. Time has escaped me again.
Radio: … the expedition to Lumaria leaves tomorrow morning…

Panel 3:
Vala is seen in the light of the doorway as she exits the now dark laboratory. Her shadow is cast
on the ground from the lighting of the hallway outside the lab. In this scene, it is evident she is pregnant.
Vala: Another day completed.

Panel 4:
Vala is seen opening the door to her home. It is clean with a slightly futuristic aesthetic. The only
light comes from the sconce which is to the right of the door. Moths fly around the lamp.
Vala: Now to sneak in quiety to bed.

Week 10: Outside of Class - Narrative

The year is 2142. Space travel has become a normal part of life, as humans have started travelling further into the unknown. Citizens of Earth have entered the new space race with many countries sending out ships in an attempt to find new species. Vala is a 28-year-old ex-astronaut. After 10 years of expeditions, Vala became pregnant and decided to quit being an astronaut and return to Earth for a less intense job. She settled for a lead extraterrestrial research position. Vala found passion in what she was doing, and was glad she never had to return to her previous job as an astronaut -especially since she was 6 months pregnant. One night, after a long day at the research lab, Vala returned home and passed out in bed next to her husband. She was awoken by strange noises and lights coming from the screens in her room. Cryptic messages in foreign language were sprawled across the screens. She heard a disembodied voice tell her that she must go on the expedition to Lumaria, which was leaving tomorrow, or humanity as she knew it would never be the same. With that, the screens went dark, the room fell silent, and Vala quickly fell back asleep as though she had never woken up in the first place.

                  The next morning, Vala woke up feeling confused. She asked her husband if anything woke him up last night, but since he responded that he slept soundly, she ultimately wrote it off as a dream. She went to get ready for another day at work and started undressing for a shower. As she looked in the mirror, she noticed a strange marking on her chest. Upon further inspection it was almost as though she had been branded. The marking was a mysterious symbol, much like the ones which had appeared on the screens in her room last night. A sense of dread descended upon her as she realized that last night had really happened. Fearing that the prophecy she received would come true and not wanting to frighten her husband, she fabricated excuses for him and her work about why this mission was essential. She felt bad about the lies, but thankfully, she was left unquestioned. Vala quickly assembled her bag for the expedition and went on her way. Arriving at the space center, Vala demanded to see her former Commander. With trust in her previous Commander, Vala explained the urgency of her attending this mission and told her about the strange experience. At first, she was met with disbelief, however Commander Hill changed her disposition when Vala revealed the strange marking on her chest. Vala asked about whether her baby would be safe during space travel, and Commander Hill replied that technology has allowed for pregnant women to travel safely in space for years now. Believing she could be key to the mission, she accepted Vala’s request and helped her get ready for travel. They boarded the space shuttle and took off for the 5-day flight.

                  A few days had passed after landing, and an exploration party was sent out to scout unfamiliar areas. While hiking the mountains, Vala stumbled upon a cave which seemed to be calling out to her. With piqued interest, she wandered in alone, weapon brandished. The further Vala went, the more the cave began to glow until she discovered a wall with writing like what she had seen the night of her prophecy. Suddenly, the wall opened, revealing a long, small corridor. A voice came into Vala’s head and commanded her to enter, which she did. Everything cut to black as she was quickly grabbed and forced into a vehicle. Inside were two creatures with gas masks. All of a sudden, the cabin filled with a hazy smoke, and Vala fell asleep.

Vala awoke in a room being held by the two creatures she had been kidnapped by. In front of her was another creature in a large throne. Frightened, she asked why she was brought here. The Leader explained that the baby she was carrying was part of his species. Confused, Vala said that that was simply impossible, as she was married to her human husband. The Leader laughed and said that her husband was not human, but actually Lumarian. He explained that many Lumarians lived among humans on Earth in order to study and learn about them in hopes that it could help their society. He also revealed that she was the first to become pregnant by the species. Vala then questioned how it could be possible that her husband was one of them, when he looked like a normal human. The Leader explained that Lumarians can shape shift, and he transformed into his human counterpart before her eyes. Every Lumarian sent to Earth was trained and outfitted with a backstory so that there would never be any suspicion.

Still feeling disbelief, she asked what this all meant. The Leader explained that it was crucial for her to give the baby back to them once it was born, so they may begin research on human-Lumarian hybrids. However, Vala protested saying that regardless of the situation, it was still her child and therefore she would not be giving it up. However, the Leader then explained that the species was dying out and that their only hope is the child and the potential for human-Lumarian hybrids. Vala reached a compromise with the leader, which was that he would send ambassadors back to Earth with her so they could reveal the situation after the baby was born. Three months later, Vala gave birth to her baby. Despite their differences, Vala’s husband revealed that he still truly loved her and hoped that she would continue to stay with him. She agreed and together they showed the world the baby that would save the Lumarians and unite the galaxy.